I want to be over it
And above it
And beyond it
I’ve been trying to scale it
Swim through it
Rebuild it
And task-force my way through it
But the reality is I just can’t keep going
If I don’t know that, one day, I’ll be done
I keep wondering what
Tactics I should use
What leadership I need to possess
What think-tanks I need to assemble
To finish this
However
Every time I begin I am instantly halted
By the inability to tell myself that there will be
An eventuality
I want so badly to be beyond this
Around it
Through it
On the other side of this
I want so badly to
Taste life as it was
And as it will be once again
But even better for all the struggle
And chaos of this journey
I want to know what a golden sunset will look like
Dripping down between the hills on the other side of this
But there are no promises made to me
To let me know that anytime soon
I will write about something
I will begin something
Create something
Start something
Finish something
Instead
All I’m given
Are to-do lists
Listed one through
One billion
Every bullet point the same:
Go Through This
Work Your Way Through This
Make It Through
Survive
Hold On
Get Better
Be Better
I’m exhausted at the idea of stagnation
And too tired to realized how exhausted
I really am.
