This is the sound of a one-handed poem
See, I will love you with one hand tied
If that’s what part of me needs to believe
If there is a section of my domestic
Ikea, lunch break, levelheaded, adult decisions
Paranoid brain
Always obsessed with assurance that I am maturing
At an acceptable rate
That has to believe that accepting every single term
Of our love
Means somehow that I am tying back an arm
I will take that
Because that is the arm that swings wildly in the air
With all of my Italian gusto
My redneck dramatics
And my artistic, undiagnosed creative sensibilities
That never seem to make up their mind
About who I am today
That is the arm that cannot yet trust
That a love this deep is real
Because it is far too used to fighting back
To get used to the idea
That I have nothing to fight back against
Because even the worst of us
Is wrought with an overwhelming
Undertone of total, and complete love
The kind of arm that needs to sit down,
Shut up,
And accept you
I will tie down that hand
And use the other to speak to you only in calm love
Because I know that no matter what my guarded ego
Tells me
The vulnerable portion of my heart that is locked inside a treasure chest
Deep inside an ocean somewhere
Is not just the side of me I am scared of you rejecting
It is the side of me I need to show you
The most
With my hand untied
I give you the key
And the map
To that part of myself
And I give you my blessing
To seek and find
Please
Go quickly
Because you might have noticed I live inside of a beat
That may be precious and frail
But is not soft and sweet
Because it is a beat so quick
That it might be mistaken as youth
It is not my youth
It is the speed in which I seek
And find
And baby,
I know now that with you I can keep that speed
Because you will
Come to know
That I love you
Just as hard as I fight you
And while you are addicting
To the point of tears and withdrawals
To every single man you meet
And most of all to me…
I, too, am the highest
You have ever felt
In a way you cannot live without
And our powerful affects
On one another
Are a constant
No matter how at peace we are
I have a techno, house, choppy
Electronic, post-Bush
Present day, hypnotic beat
Rhythm to my life
And you are a remixed collage of beautiful
Noise repeating within it
Like it or not.
But baby,
You only need to love
Your promotion to percussion in my life
Because you sound like an angel
Like an angel minced among
This slideshow of my life, repeating
I am willing to forego the parts of me
I am not certain of
In sacrificial respect of the parts
I know to be as certain as a global rotation
That also exists inside this poet
When you set ablaze the fiery tween girl
Inside me spewing out Seventeen magazine
Relationship quiz advice
You have not
You never can
Burn that actual epic frontier lover
That waits in front of a breathless horizon
For his soul mate to return from
Whatever has separated us
I used to remain inside
But now
We remain inside
Underneath every scar of uncertainty
And cracks of broken
That will exist over time
I know to be certain
Only a few things
Strong enough cause me
To tie down my hand
And bite my tongue
In order to
Once and for all
Let my heart do the talking.
