Collapsed

Domesticate me.
Pour me into a bottle.
Shake my ingredients and rethink my recipes.
Because gently and tenderly I rethink my own
I toss my inner monologues (and admittedly dialogues)
Into passionate little girl holiday snow globes and watch the petals dance
When a gentle smile breaks its way onto your face
And the sunlight from a day we have seen nothing of
Glides into the darker corner of your eyes
And shames the shadows of the room
For haphazardly attempting to emulate the dramatic darkness of your hair
When I discover a new concentration of color, a freckle, a mole
A sleep sheet crease taking hotel stays on your back and face
I am reading a book that is changing my life
I am uninterested in the daylight
Nor the moon
Only the slowly faded dances of time and placement of light
From right to left as the day passes
And I feel content knowing your position in my arms will change
Only as circulation is lost and cramps creep
So we change our forever embrace and lazy collapse
Sighing occasionally like tired beasts content in winter
I am with you unproductive and unchallenged
However busier and deeper in thought
Than the most hectic of school days or think tanks
Fallen like a golden gown of a golden queen in a golden age
Limp and lifeless but somehow with more grace and presence
Than when before I was draped across a beautiful bare back
Collapsed and gentle
Breathless for hours, constant in space
It is but nothing for me to plan my days around inactivity with you
Seeing as I have no clever illness nor disorder deemed official
By the pharmaceutical wizards of modern medical masterminds
I can offer only a poor mans apology
As blame is a virtue of the richer
I can offer only an apology for not throwing my emotions upon the nightlife
And arranging symphonies to be played out of rooftops
Great dinners to attend in the honor of our engagement
But rather hours of lethargy and sluggish behavior
But I beg an explanation
Draped and collapsed
Fallen and gentle
Touched in soft breath by the days progression
My heart beats so I’ve run the deepest marathon
Into the height of the Andes
Stripped of all oxygen and pacing
Regardless my stubborn appearance
As a person of hummingbird premature heartbeat
I feel still too weak to experience much more
Than experiencing that of you
And I
And sheets
And pillows
Cigarettes and wine
And conversations
Finally someone I am more interested in than myself
So interested, in fact
I spend little time explaining a thing
You deserve more, it’s true
Scores of novels and pages of tutorials
On the inner workings of who it is holding you
And I’ll uncover more as I go
Peel as you see fit
But peel as you lay
Collapsed and draped
Inanimate and domestic
In charge of whatever
Shaking my holiday globe
And laughing at the shadows in the room.

Scene Selection

I have felt the ticklish breeze
Cross over my face and run through
My hair like rye
Seen the credits role and waited
On the repetitive
Unglamorous
Menu screen
All the while waiting for a sequel
I am listening to the droplets
Forming stalagmites
And standing, guilty, in a puddle
My life is changing
Skipping forward
Chapters at a time
Sometimes
And patiently breathing on chaotic mountaintops
Sometimes


The main event:
Reoccurring and threaded
Ever so pleasantly
Through the pages
And templates of my everyday
However
Would be that the best of howevers
The gusty bustling
Cluster fuck
That I have come to know so gently

Sometimes its just moonlight
Tickling the curtains
And cold January breezes seeping
That cause your forearms to goose bump
And just seeing that transition
The proven breath of life full action
Run across your skin
Makes me jealous in ways that cannot be blamed
On infidelity nor electronics

But of skin cells
Holding tight
To hold you in
I want inside
Or you outside.

How unfair to ask death or sex
To a person incapable of controlling emotions
Damn me all to hell and back
But I want closer.
And isn't that the ultimate scream of the lover?
if nothing but...
I am at a plea to not just watch your freckles
Dance as you laugh and keel
And pull back in a confused and scared place
Of moving right back into a belly laugh.


No,
I don't ask to watch your beauty markings
And perfectly places symmetries experience
Life
I ask to experience that
Life
With them.

Sunlight comes soon enough
To melt the hearts of winter.
What happens to the fern, ever green
Through winter
But an even greener bloom?
I am grateful for your greenery

I am not satisfied to stop.

So squeeze me, for lack of
A better word.
There is rarely a better word anyway.
I am struggling here to find the placement
Of sounds as we stand.
So
Shut the fuck up
And squeeze me
Until I melt into you
Or we die there
Together.

There are two outcomes:
Death or sex
Unfair,
But asked of young lovers
Impatient to get at what’s good for the getting.
We have both been bad.
Only the good die young.
Squeeze me
Until I am your freckles.