Divide
Most people probably don’t think twice
Spending days nicely
Iced over
And stagnant in thought
Don’t got what I got
But aren’t quite as lost
I am not most folks
The way my thoughts flow
Is just so damned…over
And under and just in case
So lacking in taste
So very taste maker
Wondering questions until my head overloads
But if you don’t know
I’ll just get it over
I am not most folks
And sometimes I wonder
To myself deep under
Those quicksand covers
And fly-paper sheets
What’s okay about me?
What’s expected of these
Situations I seek?
Am I old enough to love?
To find someone?
Is it just lust?
Or is he that someone?
Am I in the right time
In some sort of time line
To pretend to find
This perfect guy?
Or have I
Found this guy
Whom with I
Cross divide
Multiply
And swan dive?
Or has time
Outlawed this deed?
It’s no secret
The rushed pearl-lacking shells
Both family and self
Have pretended to love
And done nothing but rush
While the upper class mock our haste
And now I lack taste
But do I care about taste?
Or am I just lying to myself?
Which self am I tonight?
It’s hard to spot lies
When I don't know who I
Even am tonight
So I decided
I am just listening to the arguments
Letting ladies and gents
Of the booing crowd run free
I will close the debate
And leave it to fate
Just watching it play
Out in my brain
As the voices rush the stage
Freed from their cage
And fight to the death
One voice reminds me that I never tear down
I never start from the ground
And destroy my shit
I never edit
I never just sit
And start from scratch
Ideas are hatched
From ideas and piled up
But then another voice joins us
And tells me I keep dreaming
About the plots that he’s scheming
To keep on cleaning
His sheets just for me
So I won’t see
So I blindly
Run through
With no clue
That he’s fucking two
And I am part of a team
I actually dream
Day nightmares
Voice two takes me there
But voice three is quick
To get rid of this
Or rather build on as I said
Inside my head
It’s loudest yet
Voice three has led
Me into the peace
Some of the greatest artists I know
Tear down and rebuild just so they grow
And get a better sense of the piece
And tend to its needs
Remembering
Only the best of the first
For the rest of what’s left
So perhaps I’m scared
And take myself there
So that I am aware
Of how great it is here
Where I can still steer
Myself in the clear
And there are no Dear John Voicemails
Just smooth sailing
So perhaps my fears are artistic
I just don’t realize it
Voice four comes in
Like a goddamn siren
Blaring some shit
About how crazy this is
And how much I focus on love
How cheesy I look is disgusting
I have bills to pay, addictions to kick
I have a job that literally makes me sick
I have school and I’m broke
And my god who knows
The last time these bones
Had a glass of milk or a gym visit
So whats with the shit?
Who cares about this?
But I promptly tell voice five to get
Voice four to sit
The fuck down.
Voice five comes in not loud but real
And cuts off a slice
Of the silence
And we sit and chat
About how great it is that
From where I’m at
The world is happiness
And I have everything to learn from
And nothing to lose
And a man I adore making me choose
Between the voices that quake
With cosmic vibrations
And I get the sensation
Of them all shutting up
All becoming one
Voice number five
Is on our side
And I breath a sigh
As I decide
Once again so am I
And return to my
Originally scheduled program
Where you and I plan
The next five holidays
Take turns hitting play
On ten million voicemails
Six thousand emails
A million soft words
In both our bed’s curled
Up in our arms
Snoozing alarms
And walking with exhausted smiles
Waiting inside of
These quicksand blankets
And flypaper sheets
Finally
Knowing tonight
It’s perfectly fine
For me to divide
My mind
A million times
So long as voice five
Will close the blinds
Shut my eyes
And silence my
Insecurities
I’ll meet you in sleep
Wadding deep
In the pillows that keep
My head company
In place of the heat
Given so sweet
From the man responsible for these thoughts.
