Lauren

I keep listening to break up songs 

Not to feel better about us

But to pay attention 

To what has already been said 

So I don't end up 

Plagiarizing 

When I sing your ass away

And get you off my chest  

Enrique

You got me to write again 

And I wanna thank you

But I've got it from here 

And if I didn't get you started 

With something again

I hope I helped you to start

Something entirely new 

Fortune

The moment when
You feel like you need to speak with a psychic
The most
About what you should do
Is the exact moment
When you know exactly
What it is
You are supposed to do. 

Raining

All they told me about California
That I actually believed
Was that it never rains
And now it's been raining
Since I got here

They told me love was magic
And that it knew no rules
And then Dear Abby
And advice columns
And older, wiser divorced generations
Gave me a list of what was
Healthy
To expect
And unhealthy
To do
In a relationship
They changed love
To
'In a relationship'
And all of a sudden
It was some mixture
Of a science class
And a cock-fight
Reading statistics
Placing bets
And hoping for the best

They told me love was a completion
And that that was not true
They told me love conquers all
But to leave when something needed conquering
They told me trust is what makes love
But trust no one

They told me being alone was lonely
But that you need to be alone
And loneliness was terrible
And I deserve the best
So give myself the best
But lonely is the worst
So here I sit more confused
Than lonely
And just sort of pissed
Smoking outside of a bar
Full of people trying to understand
This insanity
Spending hundreds
On drinks
For one another
And nothing
As though we are all just supposed to
Get it

So naturally I gave up
And I gave up again
I've given up a lot
Because we all do

And then you just happened
And I just jumped
And you never mentioned love
But I couldn't imagine you were talking about anything else
Because I loved the way you spoke
I loved the pictures of you
I loved where you lived
And what you aimed to create
You made me laugh
And your voice made me listen
Your voice made me listen
I'm not known for that
I just assumed you were on the same track
I just assumed we were both talking about the same thing
When you mentioned your lyrics
Or you talked about your band
I was under the impression
That you were courting me
Because how you could not see
That all of you
Is perfect
For me

I supposed I forgot to mention
I guess I was under the impression
That what I was assuming
Was what you thought too
And perhaps every mistake
An adult can make
Is contained
In that statement
And I'm sorry

So let me be clear

I want you
Entirely
I want us as a team
I want what you've got
For myself
And I want to watch you enjoy it, too
I adore your voice
Your witch hazel
Your words
Your past makes me curious
Your future makes me dream
Your skin makes me tingle
And your dick makes me blush
Your home makes me warm
And your hands make me melt
Your clothes make me comfy
And your hair is a goal
I mean it
I look forward to one day seeing it
As it is
In the morning
As big and unruly as you'll allow it to be
And I want to be close enough to you
To reach up and run my fingers through it
With your permission
And I've thought as much since you walked me home
Since the first time I heard you say 'dope'
I want to teach you how to be like me
In whatever ways you envy
I want to learn everything I can from you
And it drives me fucking crazy
Because I never said a thing
About how into you I am
Until well after
I told you
All the reasons
This might not work

But dammit
I get it
I get the confusion
How the rules contradict
And fits and starts
And the misunderstandings
I get that this is all the weather
And we can predict and understand
And look at the past
But the only real way to tell whats going on
Is to stand outside
And see if it's raining

I'm riding on the back of a wave trying to catch up
With some surfers who told me that there were no winds today
So I should give up
I did
I gave up
And when this wave first swelled
Under me
I disagreed
I was told there was no wind today
So I did nothing
I treaded water
And laughed when I should have stood up on my board
Now I'm just panicked
And jealous
And rushed
On the hind tale of this wave
Not pushing me forward
Not offering me a ride
But instead its a struggle
To get back inside

I'm trying
I'm sorry
I'm late
But I'm here
Look back behind you
See that I'm here

Because I want inside
I want this ride
I'm sorry if I
Took my sweet time

To bury the lead
On what it is that I seek
From what we can be
But if I may speak
Freely

I'm already hooked
And totally confused
About everything
Except for you
This man who

Is making me get it
The way that it works
Wondering what all
This screaming is for

Knowing that I can't predict the rain
Trying my best to chase
A wave
Kicking and breathing trying to save
The thing that pulls me
That I pushed away

Off My Chest

Here again I sit
So sick
Of this shit
I let myself slip
Into

Someone asks me a question
Expecting whatever I say in return
Will make them laugh
And instead I suck the energy out of the room
And send it into
That blank space
That's all over my face
I'm deflated
Because of you

I try to be cool
I try to live in the middle of the road
Let shit go
But the very thing that makes you want me
From the moment we meet
Is the very thing that makes you run
Within the first week
Intensity
But you have got to understand
That I am a mess
And I have no plans to clean anytime soon
I do not listen to the way that the rain sounds
And imagine a battalion of fallen angels
Bouncing off the sidewalk
And making street lights glow
Only so that I can turn around
And be totally 'chill, bro' about
The sexual energy
Of you pounding someone else
On your bed
And then expecting
Me to come lay
In his pussy juice
If I imagine stars are little bits of
Art
From the past
Lighting skies for the eyes
Of new hands to keep passing
The buck
Then why the fuck
Would you think I just
Go
With the flow
Of knowing
His hole
Was full of your meat
While you pumped your seed
Into the sheets
That you want me to lay on
While we cuddle to sleep
You do not get to choose
The extremes
Of me
You want the sun
Then you deal with the heat
You want the moon
Then you deal with me
If you want my passion in between sheets
Then you deal with my jealous fits on the street
If you want my heart to rest at your feet
Then you hug me close
And exclusively
Or you can be free
But be timely
With your decision
Because I am a mess and as you may know
When you look at your room and the clothes on the floor
Messes move quick


If you see a mess
And it makes you give up
If you see a mess
And it makes you uncomfortable
If you see a mess
And its not what you want
Then when the time comes
Just dont sign up

Dont make me believe
That you're going to push
Yourself to a place
Where you think of me
And what I must need
Consistently
Dont watch me do that
For you
And think how lovely a gift
And how unexpected
Like its a lovely gesture
And you're just free to enjoy
Its an agreement
That you'll do the same
I am not insane
For expecting your ways
To also change
From day
One

And if that is
Too much to ask for
Then when you see my beauty
At the art show
Hanging so perfectly
Admiring the chaos
In how crazy I speak
Do me
A favor
And keep walking
To the next painting
In the gallery
Because I am a mess
A big, complicated
Intricate, modern
Abstract
That you may just adore
But there is no room for
Me in your foyer

So stop
Trying
To take
Me
Home
Unless you know
Exactly where I'll go
In your home
Unless my mess
Compliments the rest
Of your nest
Unless your bed
Is a sacred resting
Place for your chest
To ask for my head
To come hear the best
Of what your heart beat
Has
To offer

And for God's sake
Before me becomes we
Keep your mess but
Change your sheets
For me

Suck

If you were a pipe
You would be cashed
Keep trying to burn
Shit from your past
But you need to see
The wasted rehash
Of once you once had
Just isn't lasting
It's laughable
It's tragic
You're pulling for more
High but you're crashing
Relax
It's natural
And it's not moving fast
But that's
Just that
The facts
So relax 

Writing Assignment

Write me a letter
That I can just ruin with
Tear stains
Give me something to look at
While I cover my lap in drops
From my eyes
And something to listen to
That tells me its ok to cry
That now is the time
To let the poses go
And ugly cry
Write me a letter about an itsy bitsy spider
And his journey up the spout
Then turn around and tell me
To bring down the rain
And wash the spider out

Longevity

You can write a paper
And I can write a poem
And yours will keep them talking
And mine will keep me going
And he can write a song
That makes me write a poem
His will kill me softly
And mine will help him know me

Slay

I'm in there
Like a dagger
Throwing laughter
At
Their gut