Memorize

Some of the places
In your eyes
Look like they've never stopped crying
And I don't want to stop them
From crying anymore
I want to stand next to you
And let you choose to
Bury your eyes in my bony shoulders
While my shirt gets warm with the tears
And deep gulps for air
I want to look, reassuring to
Some of the places
In your eyes
That shine a light so harsh with joy
That I smile when you are crying
And remind you how much better you feel
After a good, deep sob.
There are plenty of places to laugh
And reasons to cry
In this world
But I've only been to
Some of those places
And if only you would join me
I would ask only to laugh in your light
And wear your tears on my shoulders.

Come In

If you think you might
Be moving away from me
Soon
If my body is more than a few breathing inches
From yours
When we lay together
If our wide-eyed, bewildered
Chance meeting
A passionate one
And then two
Night stand
Was just that
A night stand
Holding no more than condoms and lube
Please tell me now.
I can pick myself up from disappointment
And walk forward with intrigue
But I cannot live in mystery.
You do not know me, but
Wondering if I am loved
Tends to be a theme
In my life
And you have no idea
How terrible the consequences
Really are
I beg you
Know me
So I don't have to know
Again that anxious
Questioning.

All the Time

When I think about Love
I think about You
But
I don't think about Love
All the time.

They Tell Me of Saints

All I know
Is that if I can't be with you
I will spend the rest of my life looking
For someone who looks
Sounds
Behaves
As you do
And if god put you on this earth
A straight man
And I a gay man
In some cruel joke
It means no less that I am yours
But only that I will spend
My days and nights beside you
In love
And friendship
And never kissing you
Not knowing you in my arms
Never touching you
In that way
Will be my penance
And I will die a martyr
But they tell me of saints
Martyrdom is a must
And so I will die
Saint Pace
The Patron Saint of Peace
Because I cannot stop smiling

Preposition

I want to be over it
And above it
And beyond it
I’ve been trying to scale it
Swim through it
Rebuild it
And task-force my way through it
But the reality is I just can’t keep going
If I don’t know that, one day, I’ll be done
I keep wondering what
Tactics I should use
What leadership I need to possess
What think-tanks I need to assemble
To finish this
However
Every time I begin I am instantly halted
By the inability to tell myself that there will be
An eventuality
I want so badly to be beyond this
Around it
Through it
On the other side of this
I want so badly to
Taste life as it was
And as it will be once again
But even better for all the struggle
And chaos of this journey
I want to know what a golden sunset will look like
Dripping down between the hills on the other side of this
But there are no promises made to me
To let me know that anytime soon
I will write about something
I will begin something
Create something
Start something
Finish something
Instead
All I’m given
Are to-do lists
Listed one through
One billion
Every bullet point the same:
Go Through This
Work Your Way Through This
Make It Through
Survive
Hold On
Get Better
Be Better
I’m exhausted at the idea of stagnation
And too tired to realized how exhausted
I really am.

Timelessness

Don't you dare give me immortality
I am a poet
And without my brief time
Coming with a deadline
I can see nothing
A poet is her generations property
And timelessness has given up her child
To the cause
To live forever would be to knock
The words out of me
With a certain blow to the stomach
And I would rather die 
Than to know this world through 
Any other eyes. 

Jeremy Pace Allen Ginsberg Poetry Project

5 Poems

I Want A Man I Can Take A Shower With - Video

If I Were a Straight Man - Video

Some Fuckin' Choice - Video

I Said Let Go - Video

Eclipse

They left me in the dark
But I am the moon
They lose.
And as I looked to
The shadowed dirt
Of the shattered earth
They took away my sidewalk where they gave me shade
And the rough terrain
Cancels my escape
By pushing me to lanes
The more I try to stay
Where I'm good and safe
The hotter it is getting.

What's The T?

They look the same
From far away
Trans and gay
But still you say
That's not me
You shoot yourself in the foot
Just trying to put
Yourself first
Display the worst
Of the other side's fight
Trying to break free
Of the T
But GLB
Can never say 'we'
Are family
When we treat
Our kin
Like some sort of sin
That's what they've said to us
And all of a sudden
Stonewall is null and void
While we try to employ
Our deepest deny
Of the the first brick's flight
Thrown at Stonewall
From the hand that we call
A freak
From the hand of a queen
Dressed in drag
It's a fact
Worth remembering
And we are in her court
Try and move forth
Without her voice
And you'll fall flat
Just spinning your wheels
People, we need heels
To get ourselves from this mud
And be it Trans or AIDS
This is our blood
We must love
Ourselves before we can move
To a new
Day
Without these mistakes
So below us
This is a fight for love
Every kind we can get
And when it comes to the T
We cannot forget.