All they told me about California
That I actually believed
Was that it never rains
And now it's been raining
Since I got here
They told me love was magic
And that it knew no rules
And then Dear Abby
And advice columns
And older, wiser divorced generations
Gave me a list of what was
Healthy
To expect
And unhealthy
To do
In a relationship
They changed love
To
'In a relationship'
And all of a sudden
It was some mixture
Of a science class
And a cock-fight
Reading statistics
Placing bets
And hoping for the best
They told me love was a completion
And that that was not true
They told me love conquers all
But to leave when something needed conquering
They told me trust is what makes love
But trust no one
They told me being alone was lonely
But that you need to be alone
And loneliness was terrible
And I deserve the best
So give myself the best
But lonely is the worst
So here I sit more confused
Than lonely
And just sort of pissed
Smoking outside of a bar
Full of people trying to understand
This insanity
Spending hundreds
On drinks
For one another
And nothing
As though we are all just supposed to
Get it
So naturally I gave up
And I gave up again
I've given up a lot
Because we all do
And then you just happened
And I just jumped
And you never mentioned love
But I couldn't imagine you were talking about anything else
Because I loved the way you spoke
I loved the pictures of you
I loved where you lived
And what you aimed to create
You made me laugh
And your voice made me listen
Your voice made me listen
I'm not known for that
I just assumed you were on the same track
I just assumed we were both talking about the same thing
When you mentioned your lyrics
Or you talked about your band
I was under the impression
That you were courting me
Because how you could not see
That all of you
Is perfect
For me
I supposed I forgot to mention
I guess I was under the impression
That what I was assuming
Was what you thought too
And perhaps every mistake
An adult can make
Is contained
In that statement
And I'm sorry
So let me be clear
I want you
Entirely
I want us as a team
I want what you've got
For myself
And I want to watch you enjoy it, too
I adore your voice
Your witch hazel
Your words
Your past makes me curious
Your future makes me dream
Your skin makes me tingle
And your dick makes me blush
Your home makes me warm
And your hands make me melt
Your clothes make me comfy
And your hair is a goal
I mean it
I look forward to one day seeing it
As it is
In the morning
As big and unruly as you'll allow it to be
And I want to be close enough to you
To reach up and run my fingers through it
With your permission
And I've thought as much since you walked me home
Since the first time I heard you say 'dope'
I want to teach you how to be like me
In whatever ways you envy
I want to learn everything I can from you
And it drives me fucking crazy
Because I never said a thing
About how into you I am
Until well after
I told you
All the reasons
This might not work
But dammit
I get it
I get the confusion
How the rules contradict
And fits and starts
And the misunderstandings
I get that this is all the weather
And we can predict and understand
And look at the past
But the only real way to tell whats going on
Is to stand outside
And see if it's raining
I'm riding on the back of a wave trying to catch up
With some surfers who told me that there were no winds today
So I should give up
I did
I gave up
And when this wave first swelled
Under me
I disagreed
I was told there was no wind today
So I did nothing
I treaded water
And laughed when I should have stood up on my board
Now I'm just panicked
And jealous
And rushed
On the hind tale of this wave
Not pushing me forward
Not offering me a ride
But instead its a struggle
To get back inside
I'm trying
I'm sorry
I'm late
But I'm here
Look back behind you
See that I'm here
Because I want inside
I want this ride
I'm sorry if I
Took my sweet time
To bury the lead
On what it is that I seek
From what we can be
But if I may speak
Freely
I'm already hooked
And totally confused
About everything
Except for you
This man who
Is making me get it
The way that it works
Wondering what all
This screaming is for
Knowing that I can't predict the rain
Trying my best to chase
A wave
Kicking and breathing trying to save
The thing that pulls me
That I pushed away
That I actually believed
Was that it never rains
And now it's been raining
Since I got here
They told me love was magic
And that it knew no rules
And then Dear Abby
And advice columns
And older, wiser divorced generations
Gave me a list of what was
Healthy
To expect
And unhealthy
To do
In a relationship
They changed love
To
'In a relationship'
And all of a sudden
It was some mixture
Of a science class
And a cock-fight
Reading statistics
Placing bets
And hoping for the best
They told me love was a completion
And that that was not true
They told me love conquers all
But to leave when something needed conquering
They told me trust is what makes love
But trust no one
They told me being alone was lonely
But that you need to be alone
And loneliness was terrible
And I deserve the best
So give myself the best
But lonely is the worst
So here I sit more confused
Than lonely
And just sort of pissed
Smoking outside of a bar
Full of people trying to understand
This insanity
Spending hundreds
On drinks
For one another
And nothing
As though we are all just supposed to
Get it
So naturally I gave up
And I gave up again
I've given up a lot
Because we all do
And then you just happened
And I just jumped
And you never mentioned love
But I couldn't imagine you were talking about anything else
Because I loved the way you spoke
I loved the pictures of you
I loved where you lived
And what you aimed to create
You made me laugh
And your voice made me listen
Your voice made me listen
I'm not known for that
I just assumed you were on the same track
I just assumed we were both talking about the same thing
When you mentioned your lyrics
Or you talked about your band
I was under the impression
That you were courting me
Because how you could not see
That all of you
Is perfect
For me
I supposed I forgot to mention
I guess I was under the impression
That what I was assuming
Was what you thought too
And perhaps every mistake
An adult can make
Is contained
In that statement
And I'm sorry
So let me be clear
I want you
Entirely
I want us as a team
I want what you've got
For myself
And I want to watch you enjoy it, too
I adore your voice
Your witch hazel
Your words
Your past makes me curious
Your future makes me dream
Your skin makes me tingle
And your dick makes me blush
Your home makes me warm
And your hands make me melt
Your clothes make me comfy
And your hair is a goal
I mean it
I look forward to one day seeing it
As it is
In the morning
As big and unruly as you'll allow it to be
And I want to be close enough to you
To reach up and run my fingers through it
With your permission
And I've thought as much since you walked me home
Since the first time I heard you say 'dope'
I want to teach you how to be like me
In whatever ways you envy
I want to learn everything I can from you
And it drives me fucking crazy
Because I never said a thing
About how into you I am
Until well after
I told you
All the reasons
This might not work
But dammit
I get it
I get the confusion
How the rules contradict
And fits and starts
And the misunderstandings
I get that this is all the weather
And we can predict and understand
And look at the past
But the only real way to tell whats going on
Is to stand outside
And see if it's raining
I'm riding on the back of a wave trying to catch up
With some surfers who told me that there were no winds today
So I should give up
I did
I gave up
And when this wave first swelled
Under me
I disagreed
I was told there was no wind today
So I did nothing
I treaded water
And laughed when I should have stood up on my board
Now I'm just panicked
And jealous
And rushed
On the hind tale of this wave
Not pushing me forward
Not offering me a ride
But instead its a struggle
To get back inside
I'm trying
I'm sorry
I'm late
But I'm here
Look back behind you
See that I'm here
Because I want inside
I want this ride
I'm sorry if I
Took my sweet time
To bury the lead
On what it is that I seek
From what we can be
But if I may speak
Freely
I'm already hooked
And totally confused
About everything
Except for you
This man who
Is making me get it
The way that it works
Wondering what all
This screaming is for
Knowing that I can't predict the rain
Trying my best to chase
A wave
Kicking and breathing trying to save
The thing that pulls me
That I pushed away
