Monday, August 24, 2009

2:25 am

I cannot write a poem high

I said

I’ve never been able to

But I lied for the sake of argument

Which is something I try not to do

And I know I shouldn’t

But I do

And you should know this.

I know my truths are safe here though

You said you don’t trust

Art born of intoxication

My mind is recovering

And stopping slowly

The many years I’ve passed

Worth of intoxications

Brain dead highs and lows so bitter

I freeze cheeks just to think

Searching for highs in wrong things

Not even drugs

Binge eating weekends and lies to my parents

Skipped agendas and responsibilities hidden away from

Like ass-up ostrich immaturity

And I worry myself asleep

Most off-days

Wondering if my time has come to go or go ahead

Slip on a K-Mart vest and gain a special blue glow

Or sell it, pawn it, hitch it, suck it, and sue it all the way to the

Big leagues

Recently I started searching for answers in a chair

Without sugar or video games for a week

Just to see if I could stop crying

And throwing fits

And maybe start cleaning up my pencil box

And sharing with the other kids

But there was always a difference between hearing my father say ‘throw you into the deep end’

And him actually throwing me

Wait for me to decide

Before your decision

And your chances of a contact high

Soar to Petty concert comparisons