I wrote my first poem when I was six years old
Truth be told
Somewhere I know
I didn’t have a choice
Life does not break you
It makes you an artist
I did not know
At six years old
If I should keep living
Giving
Myself up to sin
To live in my skin
Felt selfish
A little gay boy
Loves girl toys
And shares from his heart
And its torn apart
When he hears he’s part
Of what makes the world sick
And if you think that’s bad
The saddest
Part is that
He just doesn’t want to hurt his family that way
With a big gay
Bomb
I wrote my first poem when I was six years old
For my father
Who just died
Loving who I
Have become
Since then
I wrote it for him
Back then
Because he went blind
But I didn’t mind
If he couldn’t see
How fey I could be
And I swear it saved me
I was in my first play
In the eighth grade
It did the same thing
We had to change
Schools
Because the kids were so cruel
And I’ll be damned if things
Weren’t the same
At this place
My being queer
Was just as clear
And ‘noose, or gun?’
Again I wondered
The best way to do myself in
And again
Alice in Wonderland, this time
In the spotlight
As the Cheshire Cat
I got back
A will to survive
It is why
I’m alive
I am an artist because I
Had to choose
What to do
After
I have not been given
What ‘they’ have been given
But a body to live in
And a pen in
My hand
And a place on the stage
And I’ve lived with age
Through so many places
They only show on t.v.
As cautionary
After school specials
“A rose from the sidewalk’
As TuPac once said
While you’re safe in your bed
I ran through my head
And wound up, instead
Inside of a million worst case scenarios
Hellish tornados
And getting stuck
Where things just suck
And the only luck
I’ve had
Is art.
I am an artist because I have got to be
If I want to wake up
In a bed
Instead
Of a police station
Or a crack house
Or a park bench
Or a trash dump
Wondering
Why it is I
Can’t seem to survive
But only live
If I want to wake up
In a bed lazily
Then I need to not leech
Off society
Instead I must reach
With all of me
And hold onto the sword
With which I was born
Not doctor, not lawyer
But artist
I know thats the hardest
Life you can think
How silly of me
To try and live
But if that is
Then you don’t know shit
And good for you, too!
Don’t change a thing
But let me just say
You’re welcome
It has been my pleasure
If nothing else
To take on, myself
All of this Hell
And turn it into
Something that you
Enjoy watching
