As I am now 30
And my hands can attest to that
Seeing as they show the wrinkles of
My handiwork and time
More than anything
Seeing as no hairs have yet to
Turn grey
And no real lines are
Blazing any trails
On my face
....yet
I can only imagine it best
And most fitting
That these aged hands
Be the ones to write about you
And what you've done to me.
You've gotten me to 30.
And not only to 30-
You've gotten me
To Sunrise.
Somewhere in my 20s
I was given the name
Moon Beam.
And as I - as many
Do in their 20s
Sought out my own identity
Via an homage
To a Native tribe I belonged to
Several DNA strands ago
Long since white-washed
But undeniably a part of my history...
I came upon sacred ceremonies.
I came upon a ceremony that gave me my
Real name
My spirit name
They said:
Was Moon Beam
And I tattooed that name across my hands
As I - as many
In their 20s
Would do.
The hand that writes about you
This old hand
Says 'Moon' across the knuckle
And it seems, again, logical
That it does
Because, again
You have given me
Sunrise.
And when, in my 20s
I sought these ceremonies
I also came across a blessing
From a Native Tribe of the American Southwest
That was simply the offering of:
Sunrise.
That was the blessing.
Because what a blessing
The Sunrise
Truly is
Every day.
I was a creature of the night
And may very well always be
I am not sure which tense to use
And I may well never be
But time passes
Hands wrinkle
And the Sun
Will always rise.
What happens to the Moon
When the Sun takes
Over?
What happens to the boy in his 20s
Who has run, screaming
Laughing
Crying
Fighting
Sleeping
Dying
and Flying
Through this world
When the ratio of questions to answers in life
Begins to shift
And this child of the Moon
Begins to finally catch his breath?
What was going to happen to me?
Where does the Moon go
Knowing, nervously
That the Sun will be here soon?
The Moon, it seems
Remains exactly where it is.
The Moon
Is still
The Moon
Even if he can't be seen.
Whomever did or did not whisper
Into my ear
Somewhere along the way
That growing up
Was a scary, scary thing
Was wrong to tell me that-
But wasn't wrong at all.
And I am sure that the Moon's
Very first Sunrise
Must have scared the shit out of him.
I hope the Moon had you
Or whatever you would have been to the Moon.
I hope that when that happened
For the first time
There was something like you there
To be as kind to him
As you have be to me -
The Beam.
I do not know what I am doing.
I have no idea what now.
I don't know where I am going.
But I have to go there
And I have to figure out how.
How absolutely absurd!
What a mess.
What next?
What now?
I suppose you must be
My Twilight.
Yes, that must be you.
Because I have never seen a Twilight
That didn't know
What to do.
A Twilight
Getting married
To the child of the Moon.
My Twilight-
You've invited me
To come and take your hand.
You've listened while I panicked
And smiled without answers.
I suppose I don't need answers
I don't really need
To know
I just need someone to listen
Who has seen Sunrise before
Someone who knows.
Marry me,
My Twilight
Because Sunrise never stops.
I want to know this blessing.
I want to thank it every time.
I want to be your promise.
I want you to be mine.
I want to give you Sunsets
And I want to shine my light
I want to show you Moon Beams
Lighting up the skies.
So take us to the mornings
And we'll live such a life.
I will give us all the evenings
And you'll give us
Sunrise.
