Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Writing Assignment

Write me a letter
That I can just ruin with
Tear stains
Give me something to look at
While I cover my lap in drops
From my eyes
And something to listen to
That tells me its ok to cry
That now is the time
To let the poses go
And ugly cry
Write me a letter about an itsy bitsy spider
And his journey up the spout
Then turn around and tell me
To bring down the rain
And wash the spider out

Longevity

You can write a paper
And I can write a poem
And yours will keep them talking
And mine will keep me going
And he can write a song
That makes me write a poem
His will kill me softly
And mine will help him know me

Slay

I'm in there
Like a dagger
Throwing laughter
At
Their gut

Thursday, May 22, 2014

The Park



I don't have to tell you
About his skin
You already know the whole
Mocha brown coffee with cream
glistening in the sun bit
Its been said before
And I am sure you know all about
the tall dark and handsome
But let me tell you
How the sweat rolling down his neck
Onto his chest
took the wet from my neck
Straight down to my head
How the colors of the blue blue sky
And the neon vest
And the orange signs
And the white tank top
popped so bright against his skin
I can barely talk about it while standing
In fact, let me sit
Because when I talk about it
All the blood from my head on my neck
Goes to the head on my dick


He was digging
Working out in the sun
And when he pushed that shovel into the ground
You could tell the ground liked it
You could tell he had made a promise to the earth
That it would be in heaven
If it just let him do his thing
And he made sure every time he thrust down
That he went
Deep


And I was jealous of the earth
I wanted him
whoever he was
And more than even water that day
I needed him by the time
this 100 degree sun went down


He must have been from South America
But I didn't know where
Because I was just a gringo
And ignorant to geography
and while I see how ignorant that is
In this moment somehow it made me feel sexy
Not like dumb cum dump sexy
But sexy like
"Teach me, please"
I was open
for him to dig some holes
For him to fill them



His face was just so dark
And his eyebrows
So thick
And his lips
So wet
With sweat
That I wished
Belonged to me



and by the time he saw me
Giving him everything I had from across the park
His it was too late
Because his friend had seen me too




Thank God
And I really mean that
Thank God I had the place to myself tonight


His friend
My friend I hoped
Was even more encouraging
And the two of them exchanged laughter about me
From across the park
And it was not laughter with me
It was laughter at me
And I was rock hard
Thinking about the way I was being objectified
This was a time
This was a place
A context
Which is everything
In which I wanted it
I wanted to be ogled
Gracias



When I opened the door to my apartment
them following inside
The first of many times they'd follow me inside, I hoped
I was hesitant
Because who knew what the machismo deal was here?
But these guys. They knew why they were here
Which helped the language barrier
So little had to be spoken
As they ripped my little white boy clothes
From my little white boy body



"Yo quiero tu leche papi"
"haha! si mija?"
"si papi. mucho leche por favor"
"rico papi rico"



And that was the extent of what we needed to say with our mouths
From that point on they were busy


They had hair. Such hair.
Hair above their dicks -long and black
Hair on their balls -low hanging balls, full and swollen
Hair in the small of their backs
Fuck yes
Hair on their legs
Wisps on their chest
And the rest was just tight tight skin
tightened by the sun
covering arms and chests and legs and feet and fingers
that knew hard work
in a way that i had not



My body I was so proud of for
Its olive skin
was like a snow next to them
my hands I had worked so hard with
cleaning houses and lifting weights
it knew nothing of real work
because of the estrogen running just beneath my skin
But these two - they had nothing but testosterone
and plenty of it
Judging by the size of their nuts



And one by one
I took them into my mouth
As I sucked one into the back of my throat
The other undressed me
touched me like a sweet delicate thing
In a way I forgot I could even feel
And then we switched
And then they both stood above me
Looking down on me
Watching me
With both a begging for me to continue
And an assertion to keep going
This sort of welcomed bully look
Telling me
Hey buddy. I hope you are ready. This isn't going to be easy. And you are going to love it."
Not "but you are going to love it"
No No
"AND you are going to love it"



and I did
The smell of their sweat
Which I love
I am 'into that'
Was so overwhelming when I licked their nipples
And let me tell you
NOTHING sends more shivers to my hole
than the smell of a sweaty man
Far more alpha than I will be
a man who is clearly sweating because he knows
How much work he is going to do
Inside of me



As one slid deep into me
Asking for no permission
knowing how much was already implied
then I felt him take up every space
That I had to give
And he hit my spot
the moment he got
Inside



my back arched like a cat in heat
And heat was all I could think of anymore
I took his friend into my mouth
Because I moan pretty loud
And I needed something to muffle the noise


that's when the holy grail of three ways happened!
our rhythm synced up
It almost never happens
As one papi thrust into my hole
the other accepted my mouth
Then papi thrust his dick down my throat
and the papi behind me accepted my hole



I was like a swing set on the park in which I met these men
And it was my pleasure to watch them play
They congratulated one another
And took turns
For what seemed like hours
and I didn't look at the time
because what the fuck is time
just keep filling my spaces



I was obedient
I followed taps to my thigh when told to turn over
because, again, who needs words?


And when one shot inside me?
The heat got hotter
His cum was delivered in buckets
Like lazy painters working on the inside of me
not bothering with brush strokes
just throwing cans of paint all over
And he screamed
Which is a universal language
And then he let me taste him
and his taste was sweet
he had just been in an oven essentially
so it was no surprise he tasted like dessert


And his friend used that cum
all that seed
that leche, papi
as lube
and squirts of it came out of me
and onto his balls as he fucked me
it covered his pubes
like confetti
like someone broke a snow globe
and poured it all over his dick
And he loved the extra lubrication
The swing set had turned into a slide now
And I could all but here him cry "WEEEE!"


Until he too screamed
And it translated easily into English
though I knew exactly what it meant regardless
And the inside of me was no longer just painted with leche
It was doused in it
I felt like finally
on this balmy summer day
someone had opened up a fire hydrant
inside of me


and then I tasted him too
And he tasted like a treat too
but this time
with his friend's icing on top



I did not cum
I did not know about my dick until after they had kissed my cummy mouth
And left in a hurry
because who knows anything about the outside
in a time like that?


And I laid there wondering what the fuck I would dream of next
How could I come up with something new to want
Because they took the top of my wish list
And fucked it into pieces
In the middle of my mundane afternoon
They took me to the park
They took me as the park
And let me play

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

If I Were a Top

I was asked to write a top/bottom version of Beyonce's "If I Were a Boy". Here it is...

If I Were a Top

If I were a top
If thats how I was made
I'd roll out of bed in the morning, and wouldn't try to put on a show
It would not be a surprise
To catch someone's desire
And I'd walk just where I wanted
And I'd never feel hunted for it
Cause the hunting's for me

If I were a top
I think I could understand
How it feels to hold a pearl
I swear I'd have a better plan
And I'd sooth the burns
Cause I'd know how it hurts
When you look for some protection
From a house you both can live in
And everything you build just gets burnt

If I were a top
I would turn off my phone
Tell the bottoms that it's broken
So they don't see that I've got a new home
I'd put myself first
And make the rules and then go
Cause I know that they'd be patient
Doing what I say with high hopes (With high hopes)

If I were a top
I think I could understand
How it feels to hold a pearl
And build a house somewhere that would stand
And I'd kiss where it burns
Cause I'd know how it hurts
When you spend your life just building
Up a home that top can come to
But you find that you keep living alone

Its a little to late for you to come back
Try and tear down my walls
Then move on 'til you relax
If you thought you still lived in here
You thought wrong

But you're just a top
And you don't understand
How it feels to hold a pearl
Someday you'd wish that you had ever planned
You don't try to return
And you don't know how to earn
All of the love that they've been giving
Cause you're taking them for granted
And every house you lived in has burned

But you're just a top...

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Something Old, Something New - for Christin

The stars we came from are heavy 
With knowing. 
So old. 
We borrow our lives for a brief whisper of time
Sowing ourselves into the earth
Time and again 
With a whip stitch 
And each time create 
Something new 
For them to know 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

With Benefits

The sun gets ready like an old old woman
To put itself to bed
At an early hour, even in the summertime
Rubbing itself with some salve and turning on the nightlight
Thats when whatever it is that is inside of me
Starts to rise with the moon
There is something white inside of me
Something I have carried all day
Something I have protected like a penguin father
And guarded like a momma bird
It is within the part of me I keep the most warm
And it is the same color as the moon
It bursts out of me like a falling star
And every time the old lady sun goes to bed
It is ready to come out

So I make my way to the man I choose
The man I have auditioned
Though he didn't know it
The one who I have come to know
Knows what I know
To be worth knowing
Who I will know
In a biblical sense
When I get there

And when we meet we are still wearing clothes
We are full of casual conversation
But we know it is the first precursor to the beginning of the table of contents before even the dedication
That comes from the first chapter
Of our foreplay
And as I sit down my bag I look at what the day has done to him
He looks at how I behave at my resting state
And though we do not say it
We are taken back by the domestic simplicity of our everyday beauty

And then we kiss
And it starts as hello
We are still holding a bag
Or untucking a shirt
But whatever it was we were doing has stopped and really all thats going on
Is whatever is going on
In between our lips
And his taste a certain way
And mine feel different than his
And they are different sizes
And they are different ages
And they have tasted different things
And when they meet
No matter what it is we are thinking to ourselves
We know that we should keep quiet
While our lips exchange all of their stories with one another

So then he grabs my back
And then I grab his arms
And he feels for what I have worked on
And I feel for what I remember the last time we were here
And since our eyes are closed
We read our bodies like braille

And he pulls up my shirt
And I take off his hat
And there are some men that keep the arms down low
And thats fine if you are hooking up
If you are trying to fuck and go
But if you are here to make a night of it
If you want to lie in bed and smoke after
Then that is when you grab his face
You put your hand, softly around his ear
You fucking cradle his cheek
And you do it like a Disney Prince
Or you dont do it at all

You feel his hair
He feels you waist

And the clothes have come off
And you use the part of yourself that you use the most to communicate
To accept what his body has to say
You lick you bite you suck you kiss you tongue
Every part of him you want to know more about
You go back to the animals we once were long ago
And you use every sense you have to understand
Every last thing you can
About his body

And you stand there for a moment
There is always a moment
When you both stand there and just look at your two dicks
And how your abs reach down to them like gentlemen - noble gentlemen
Standing at the bottom of a grand staircase
And you respect in that moment
How fucking beautiful it is that between the two of you
There is bound to be a back and forth
Flow of power
Alpha and Beta
And one of you will lose
And one of you will win
And you will both enjoy the results
And you will both enjoy the fight
And you will both be satisfied
With the battle

And even if he fucks you
Even if you fuck him
You will wrestle
You will kiss in order to hold onto one another
More than you will use your arms

Even if you are submissive
Exclusively
There will always be a moment when you are still 'the man'
And you will look into his eyes and say
"Ok. I'm ready. I trust you. Come inside me."
And even if you only fuck him
Dominating all the while
There will be a moment when you stand there
In submission and ask him
"May I, please, with your permission, take you somewhere wonderful?"

And then he will
And you will guide him
Into a place that is wonderful
Inside of you

To put something inside someone
To let that someone in
It is an agreement to run
Hand in hand
Slower at first
And then with great speed
Up a never ending staircase
Until you can see the whole world
And then turn around together
And scream in joy as you slide
All the way back to earth
As you did once on the playground
As a child

Inside of all gay men
All men who fuck other men
Is a submission
Is a dominance
That wears many looks
It wears trucker hats
And fishnets
It wears scratchy beards
And clean shaven assholes
And it is dressed how it wants to be dressed
But it always comes to the same battle field
It is the only battle ever fought on earth
That is fought with grace
And filled only with pleasure
But it is a battle
You toss and turn
You flip to see who is on top
Heads or tails
Heads and tails
And the bed sometimes breaks
Because you are both men
And your shoulders are square
And your feet are big
And you have a thickness to you no matter what size
That only men have


And then no matter where you shoot your seed
You do it with the other person
You do it on or in or beside the other man with you
And that part of the both of you
That looks just like the moon
Shoots as hard as it can
Out of you
And into the world
And no matter where it lands
It grows something instantly
Something that feels like a starburst
And a starburst is new life
And then there you lay
Two whole new universes
Between the two of you
Under the sheets
While whoever lost the battle
Lays his head on top of the chest
Of the one now called Alpha
And he listens to the heartbeat
Of a man who went to the sky
With you


A man who went all the way up there with me
To shoot off stars together
A man who can always look up into the night sky
And know that one of those stars was my fault
And one of them was his
His star was my fault
And my star
Was because
Of him.