I try to make it seem okay
I try to pretend away
What I’m doing to him
When I act like this
When I walk in tight jeans
Down gay-friendly streets
Looks on me
Vanity
Knowing someone might drop some digits
Wanting some things far too vivid
To share with you right now
And don’t think I’m somehow
Going to forget myself and go there
But the thoughts bring some fuck up comfort
That somewhere is someone other
Than myself who sees the work I do
To prepare myself for whom
Ever it is finds his way
To my face
But it’s wrong to be
Impatiently
Waiting
For him to show
And letting this go
To the eyes of ill thoughts
I keep thinking with wish
That all this shit
Is for today
There’s gotta be a way
I can coast this ride
Right through life
On some Mr. Right
Nows
I keep hearing people say
All the different ways
They hope to meet
The one on the streets
Looking into eyes
And feeling realizations
That this is the one
That their search is done
Forever.
But I’m filled with fear
That he’s not here
And so I say
I don’t feel the same
That I’m not opposed
To a love that grows
From man to man through time
Lose one, find one
Until I die
Looking into eyes
To say
That’s the one…these days
Get to the end like you get to the start
Be that via dick, be that via heart
Fuck my way in, fuck my way out
Love my way in, leaving before the shouting
Rather than make it work
That’ll only hurt
The memories we had
Part ways with the past
Change the DVD
Don’t hit repeat
Keep the breaks clean
I found there are ways
In which to obtain
Only the main
Ideas of each love
Stay out of the mud
Love ‘em and leave ‘em soundin’ good to me
Just be sure to love, be sure to leave
But the reality
Is that I want the mud
I want to get stuck
On repeat
With the one for me
Whose perfectly
Shaped to fit
This heart of his
And when I share my kiss
I find I miss
His love
I long to touch
His brushes
I long to kiss the lips
Beautiful enough to send
That smile into the dreams
I see him in
But always forget
When I wake up next to
The man that’ll do
While I get through
Times untold
Flying solo.
